Very recently, I've noticed that I've been exceedingly paranoid over things. Things that wouldn't matter, like asking for help, talking to friends, changes in other people tones and body language. I have been constantly worrying if they secretly hate me and want the worst for me, or even to see me dead. It's worrying, as I have trouble nowadays telling truth from delusion. I've also been having segments of time where nothing seems "real". Everything is cloudy and distorted, and I've read that those times are when I "derealize", though I don't fully know what that means or if its even true. But it certainly seems like the fabric holding my world together is a little frayed and fucked up. It's concerning, but not really unexpected. I've lived practically alone and stuck here without any way of leaving for over a year. It's a wonder I'm not flatout fuckin' nuts.