I've lost track of myself. My body is failing, my mind is scattered. I don't know if I care anymore. I hate my life, and I hate everyone else around me as well. But I love them and want the best for me. I'm so angry, I'm so sad, I don't know what I am. I need to quit checking her Reddit account. She means nothing to me, I hate her, but the affection, the constant "good boy"s on demand. They were addictive. I want her dead. I want her in my bed. Fucking worthless goddamn freak. I don't know if I mean that about her or myself.